anxiety takes over once again
Hey everyone, I thought its about time that I create one of these things. There is so much going on in my life lately. Graduating college, applying to graduate school, lauren (my fiancee) is leaving for france, my depression and anxiety problems,getting married,etc. I don't even know where to begin.
My biggest worry right now is Lauren leaving for France. August the 31st, she leaves Cincinnati, Ohio for Nantes, France. I am terrified. Lauren and I are virtually inseperable. She is my sun, my moon, my reason for living. There is no doubt in my mind that she is the one that I want to marry. She asked me to marry her last december. We have been dating for just under two years though but it is the closest I've ever been to someone. She is my best friend, my shoulder to cry on, my lover, my fiancee.
In the past, Lauren admitted that prior to meeting me, she used to flirt excessively with guys to boost her self esteem. When we first got together, she admitted to making out with a guy when we split up for about 3 days. Last winter, she admitted to having feelings for a french guy at OSU(her school), but instantly realized that what she was about to do was wrong. That she has the best boy in the world who loves her and takes care of her. I did show a lot of respect for her fessing up because I know it isnt easy. Its just hard for me. I have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and I worry quite a bit. France has me terrified. I hope she is safe. I hope she doesnt fall in love with someone else. I want her home and she hasnt even left yet.
ON the flip side, right now is the closest we have ever been. She has been pouring her little heart out, assuring me that she loves me. We have talked about a wedding and have started doing early work planning it. We have talked about having children and where we are going to live. We are very serious.
Im scared that my anxiety will get the best of me when she is away. Im currently going to a psychologist for depression and generalized anxiety disorder which helps immensely. Im worried about how im going to cope while shes away. I dont have many friends at all let alone close friends. Time is going to move so slow.
Im not ready for this.
more later...
My biggest worry right now is Lauren leaving for France. August the 31st, she leaves Cincinnati, Ohio for Nantes, France. I am terrified. Lauren and I are virtually inseperable. She is my sun, my moon, my reason for living. There is no doubt in my mind that she is the one that I want to marry. She asked me to marry her last december. We have been dating for just under two years though but it is the closest I've ever been to someone. She is my best friend, my shoulder to cry on, my lover, my fiancee.
In the past, Lauren admitted that prior to meeting me, she used to flirt excessively with guys to boost her self esteem. When we first got together, she admitted to making out with a guy when we split up for about 3 days. Last winter, she admitted to having feelings for a french guy at OSU(her school), but instantly realized that what she was about to do was wrong. That she has the best boy in the world who loves her and takes care of her. I did show a lot of respect for her fessing up because I know it isnt easy. Its just hard for me. I have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and I worry quite a bit. France has me terrified. I hope she is safe. I hope she doesnt fall in love with someone else. I want her home and she hasnt even left yet.
ON the flip side, right now is the closest we have ever been. She has been pouring her little heart out, assuring me that she loves me. We have talked about a wedding and have started doing early work planning it. We have talked about having children and where we are going to live. We are very serious.
Im scared that my anxiety will get the best of me when she is away. Im currently going to a psychologist for depression and generalized anxiety disorder which helps immensely. Im worried about how im going to cope while shes away. I dont have many friends at all let alone close friends. Time is going to move so slow.
Im not ready for this.
more later...
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